Miss M Did the Thing That Scared Her

“Do the things that scare you.”

It's a mantra Miss M tries to live by, and when she decided to book a boudoir session, she knew she was going to have to practice what she preached.

Because this? This scared her. A lot.

Miss M has never considered herself someone who loves having her picture taken. In fact, she generally isn't a fan of photos of herself. For years, she had primarily seen herself through the lens of her career. She had spent a long time working in male-dominated fields, and somewhere along the way, that became a big part of how she viewed herself.

She was ready to see if other people saw her differently than she saw herself.

More importantly, she was ready to see if she could see herself differently, too.

That was the leap. She took it.

The Nerves Were Real

Before her session, Miss M was very nervous. But I loved the way she described those nerves because they weren't the kind that made her want to turn around and go home. They were more like the nerves you feel sitting on a roller coaster as it slowly climbs that first really big hill.

You know you're scared. You know you're about to do something that is completely outside your comfort zone. You're also excited. You're committed.

And at some point, you realize there's no going back anyway, so you might as well enjoy the ride.

That's where Miss M was when she came into the studio. Then we got to work.

From Nervous to Completely Comfortable

Miss M told me she couldn't have asked for a better session day. Between hair and makeup with Bree and the conversations we had with her beforehand, those nerves started to disappear pretty quickly.

That's one of my favorite parts of what I do.

I don't expect you to walk through my door already feeling confident. I don't expect you to know how to pose, know what to do with your body, or suddenly become comfortable in front of a camera just because you're wearing something a little sexier than usual.

That's why I'm there.

The coaching gave Miss M something else to focus on. Instead of standing there thinking about how her body looked from every possible angle, she could concentrate on moving her body the way she was being directed. Turn here. Move this way. Shift your weight. Look over here. Before she knew it, she wasn't thinking about whether she looked awkward anymore. She was just doing it.

That's a huge part of why posing and coaching matter so much during a boudoir session. When you're left to your own devices, it's incredibly easy to get stuck inside your own head. Does my stomach look okay? What are my arms doing? Do I look weird? Is this angle flattering?

But when someone else is taking care of all of that for you, you get to actually experience what's happening.

And once that happens, something really cool starts to happen. You relax. You trust. You let go. THEN you start having fun.

And Then She Went For It

Miss M tried to walk into her session without any expectations, which I think was probably the perfect approach. She didn't know exactly how comfortable she would feel or what she would be willing to do once she was actually in the moment.

What surprised her most was just how easy the whole thing felt.

Easy enough that she ended up going for broke and doing the bed set naked. Yep!

The woman who was nervous enough to compare her pre-session nerves to the first climb of a roller coaster ended up completely comfortable enough to take it there. And her reaction afterward?

“Best surprise ever, because the pics are stunning!”

I mean… YES.

This is exactly why I tell women not to decide ahead of time what they will or won't be comfortable doing. You don't know how you're going to feel until you're there. You don't know what will surprise you. You don't know what you'll discover about yourself when you're given a safe space to step outside of your normal routine. Sometimes you surprise yourself.

Sometimes you realize that the thing you were so nervous about isn't nearly as scary once you're actually doing it.

And sometimes you end up with photographs that make you wonder why you were ever worried in the first place.

Then Came the Part She Didn't Expect

The actual session may have surprised Miss M with how comfortable she felt, but the biggest surprise came during her private Image Reveal appointment. She cried.

And if you know Miss M, apparently that's saying something because, in her words, “I'm not a crier.”

She never expected to get emotional seeing herself. She certainly didn't expect to look at those photographs and see a version of herself that truly made her feel beautiful. That's exactly what happened.

I think there's something incredibly powerful about that moment.

Because the woman in those photographs wasn't suddenly a different woman. She didn't wake up with a different body. She hadn't spent six months transforming herself before her session. She wasn't magically turned into somebody else by a camera.

She was still Miss M.

The difference was that she was finally seeing herself through a different lens.

For so long, she had identified with being the woman working in male-dominated fields. That's part of who she is, and it's something she should absolutely be proud of. But it's not the only thing she is.

She's also a woman who is beautiful.

She's sensual, confident, playful, powerful and she deserves to see all of those pieces of herself, too.

Sometimes we get so accustomed to seeing ourselves one way that we forget there are other versions of us waiting to be recognized.

That's one of the things I love most about boudoir.

I'm not creating a new woman for you.

I'm helping you see the woman who's already there.

Do The Thing That Scares You

When I asked Miss M what she would say to women who are considering doing their own Boudoir Experience, her answer was short, sweet, and very much in keeping with the mantra that got her here in the first place:

“DO IT.”

Her advice was to do the thing that scares you, because this ended up being one of the most rewarding experiences she'd had in a long time.

And I think her story is such a good reminder that you don't have to feel fearless before you begin. You can be nervous.

You can be unsure. You can wonder whether you're going to feel comfortable in front of a camera.

You can have absolutely no idea what you're going to think when you see those photographs. You can feel all of those things and still say yes.

Miss M didn't know exactly what was waiting for her on the other side of that first big hill. She just knew she wanted to find out.

What she found was a version of herself she hadn't expected to see. A woman who could let go. A woman who could feel sexy and confident.

A woman who could take up space and enjoy being seen. A woman who could look at her own photographs and say, Damn. That's me.

Sometimes the things that scare us are scary because they ask us to see ourselves differently. And sometimes, that's exactly what we need.

So if you've been thinking about doing a boudoir session but keep finding reasons to wait, maybe it's time to borrow a little bit of Miss M's philosophy.

Do the thing that scares you.

You might just surprise yourself.